I don’t know what I’m looking for,
trying to find my way.
Wanna beat down the negatives,
trying to get back on the way.
I’m stronger and healthier than a few months ago,
time slowly passes by but it also goes as fast like a Ferrari on a road.
I want to make good choices, that lead me in the right direction.
But sometimes when I make some choices it has the wrong affections.
I want to be someone who’s really alive,
want to be someone very important in this life.
When I look at my little brothers and see how not-knowing and fragile they are,
I want to protect them with all my heart.
They need someone to look up to and not someone who doesn’t have any clue.
Because some things I do are very reckless and I really need to get some awareness.
I wish that someday they will say; ‘Big sis, when I grow up, I really want to be like you, because you’re always trying to get everyone through.’
Dark days need to be lighted or else many people will not survive it.
But we all will get through, someday, somehow, doesn’t matter as long as it will finally do.
This life is a gift and very precious and time will teach me very wise lessons.
I just have to think positive and think with my heart,
I think to have this way in mind, this way is just like Art.
I have to learn from my faults, but do not erase any mistakes, because then I’ll get right back where I started.
I don’t need to worry and don’t need to cry, I don’t need to fly high up in the sky.
I won’t need to be unhappy, not anymore.
I don’t want to be the person that I was right before.
But even though, deep inside, I know I really want to get very high.
Because when I’m high, the absence what makes me fly is always helping me to forget some of my hurtfully feelings and memories.
I really try to let those feelings and memories go but they also show me why I'm making up some decent and proper goals.
I’ll rebuild, my life, the way it is now.
There is no more room for negatives to allow.
And I will fight my whole life through, just to be sure and just to really know.
That I won’t let myself down and from now on only going to grow and show,
never to let things easily go.
There are so many things I still need to do and I wish, one day I can approve.
I will build everything upon a giant rock,
Included my pride and advice myself to provide to never look back and being caught again in my thoughts.
Things are what they are, you can’t change and you can’t rewind them.
There is so much more and it’s dying to get find.
Past has been, future will come and these present days will get along.
Go explore and discover new ways of life, otherwise things will get very hypnotized.
Rebuilding my life and it isn’t easy, but it’s certainly worth a meant full and sincerely try.
So I welcome my new lifestyle and to my old one I’m truly going to say; Goodbye.

12 februari 2011



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